I know...I know...I promised posts about weird Wiccan related things and asexuality...Don't worry! I still intend to write those! It's just...I'm trying to get idea about what exactly to write about them. I have an interesting idea for the Wicca post but it's going to take a long time to do, and I'm still waiting on people to give me ideas about the asexuality post! I don't want to write an "Intro to Asexuality" type of thing. There's too many wonderful sites like that already! I'm looking more for specific things about it...but alas...I'm getting nothing...*sigh*
Anyway...before I get *too* off track...lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to go ghost hunting!
Okay, technically, I've been dying to go...for...forever! But, something always came up, or I had no one to go with, or nowhere to go! Ugh...but! Finally I have a place! I have paranormal, ghost hunting-loving friends to go with, AND the semester's over and I'm free!!!! YES! But, it's a short window...weather wise...tomorrow's my last chance for probably...well, for a long time. But I've also been in cosplay-mode lately! So...I sort of want to ghost hunting while cosplaying...that's not weird right? XD 'Course not! I'm eccentric! Let's do this thing! And I already know who to cosplay! Rin Okumura! :D Sure, I STILL don't have his tail made yet and his ears kinda mess with my hearing (okay not really, but they feel like they do! lol) and a wig, button-down shirt, blazer, etc. seems complicated to wear while ghost hunting...but it also feels...it feels right you know? XD (Well, he IS training to be an exorcist and all...lol) I think I would really enjoy it!
But while thinking that this idea was weird (although truthfully I'm just combining some of my favorite interests!) I decided to Google it. Turns out, I'm not the first person to think of cosplay ghost hunting! Also, I ran across this in my search: Ghost-hunting, cosplaying & Other Unusual Interests
And one long scroll down that page gave me the creeps! (the awesome creeps! XD) It's like they wrote it about me! O.o I cosplay, I ghost hunt, I like UFO spotting, I like cemeteries, and I like geo-caching! (Only the locksport one was off.) Creepy huh? lol Of course the eccentric would take part in almost all of those "unusual" hobbies! XD
Anyway, if I get to go, I promise to post pictures here of my fun adventure! :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also, if anyone knows something about asexuality they would like me to write about - let me know!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
A little change is good...?
So, as only my friends might know...the wedding...didn't happen!
Yes, when it came down to it...it was far too much stress for just one lil 'ol me! I tried to do everything great and perfect and...mostly by myself...that just doesn't work well regardless of what you're trying to do!
Originally I still wanted to have the ceremony though, even if that meant not doing any of the great things I planned and, instead, just having a fantabulous Halloween party and doing a quiet solo-ceremony at my cabin. Well, that didn't work out either! My Halloween party went well mind you (erm...after some setbacks. Namely the library being a butthole and double-booking and the other party arriving just minutes before us and taking the main room (the room that had the speaker system, kitchen, etc. that we needed!!!) and leaving us in the kids room (which they could've easily used! They were having a kids party! Instead we got stuck with brightly painted fairytale walls, tiny chairs, and no sound system...not enough tables, and melted sherbert because we couldn't use their freezer!) But we suffered through it until they left and then switched rooms. It wasn't what I had planned...AT ALL!!! But, it turned out well enough and we all had fun and that's what matters in the end! (Also, my cake turned out EPIC! So...yay!) So, thinking back, it's probably good that I wasn't having the wedding with how everything worked out! Haha!
So that left the cabin and the solo-ceremony. Well, we couldn't go when I had planned due to freak October snow storm compliments of Hurricane Sandy (it's like everything was out to get meh)! So, I called and had my reservation changed to the week after (no more before Halloween awesomeness! O.O) And then things went crazy once more and only one of my friends got to go. (I think I mentioned before that nothing I plan ever works right...See? I wasn't lying!) But we went together and had fun in the hot tub, played with a stray kitten, bought an uber cute fox plush, and filled pot holes! (lol Don't ask...XD) But because of all that, there was no Full Moon/Samhain rituals, no cosplay and horror movies, and no self-wedding! But, with all that went horribly wrong I still had fun! And, I'd like to try this again...next year! (Perhaps, have it at the con I want to go to...or on Halloween day with just a few friends...etc...so many, many, idea! :D I'm still somewhat optimistic here!)
So, anyway, that's how things went and now the days are passing and the holidays are nearing and I'm working like mad on all my homework from college! (Cursing Illustrator and essay topics and carrying on as usual.)
So here's the part where the title of this post comes in! Since Halloween is over (and with it my idea of posting interesting Halloween things each day) and my self-wedding got canceled, I've decided I'll be changing gears with this blog and focusing on other things in my life and that I think about. So, get ready for my eccentric mind tying in weird things with Wicca and mythology and posts about asexuality! I'm thinking the topics may be somewhat difficult for those new to either Wicca or asexuality and perhaps they may not be completely PC and fit in with how everyone else thinks (hey, I'm eccentric remember! I see things in a weird way!) So just bare with me and be ready for some interesting things! :)
Yes, when it came down to it...it was far too much stress for just one lil 'ol me! I tried to do everything great and perfect and...mostly by myself...that just doesn't work well regardless of what you're trying to do!
Originally I still wanted to have the ceremony though, even if that meant not doing any of the great things I planned and, instead, just having a fantabulous Halloween party and doing a quiet solo-ceremony at my cabin. Well, that didn't work out either! My Halloween party went well mind you (erm...after some setbacks. Namely the library being a butthole and double-booking and the other party arriving just minutes before us and taking the main room (the room that had the speaker system, kitchen, etc. that we needed!!!) and leaving us in the kids room (which they could've easily used! They were having a kids party! Instead we got stuck with brightly painted fairytale walls, tiny chairs, and no sound system...not enough tables, and melted sherbert because we couldn't use their freezer!) But we suffered through it until they left and then switched rooms. It wasn't what I had planned...AT ALL!!! But, it turned out well enough and we all had fun and that's what matters in the end! (Also, my cake turned out EPIC! So...yay!) So, thinking back, it's probably good that I wasn't having the wedding with how everything worked out! Haha!
So that left the cabin and the solo-ceremony. Well, we couldn't go when I had planned due to freak October snow storm compliments of Hurricane Sandy (it's like everything was out to get meh)! So, I called and had my reservation changed to the week after (no more before Halloween awesomeness! O.O) And then things went crazy once more and only one of my friends got to go. (I think I mentioned before that nothing I plan ever works right...See? I wasn't lying!) But we went together and had fun in the hot tub, played with a stray kitten, bought an uber cute fox plush, and filled pot holes! (lol Don't ask...XD) But because of all that, there was no Full Moon/Samhain rituals, no cosplay and horror movies, and no self-wedding! But, with all that went horribly wrong I still had fun! And, I'd like to try this again...next year! (Perhaps, have it at the con I want to go to...or on Halloween day with just a few friends...etc...so many, many, idea! :D I'm still somewhat optimistic here!)
So, anyway, that's how things went and now the days are passing and the holidays are nearing and I'm working like mad on all my homework from college! (Cursing Illustrator and essay topics and carrying on as usual.)
So here's the part where the title of this post comes in! Since Halloween is over (and with it my idea of posting interesting Halloween things each day) and my self-wedding got canceled, I've decided I'll be changing gears with this blog and focusing on other things in my life and that I think about. So, get ready for my eccentric mind tying in weird things with Wicca and mythology and posts about asexuality! I'm thinking the topics may be somewhat difficult for those new to either Wicca or asexuality and perhaps they may not be completely PC and fit in with how everyone else thinks (hey, I'm eccentric remember! I see things in a weird way!) So just bare with me and be ready for some interesting things! :)
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Wedding Update #8: Dress to impress!
So earlier today (err...yesterday...darn Midnight...lol) I went by the dress shop again hoping and having my fingers crossed that the dress I liked was still there...and it was!!! Lucky me! What are the chances?
Anyway, I have an appointment next Wednesday to see how much it would cost to take it in a little and add straps, and that's it! Dress shopping done! (Although, while I was there, I saw a dress 5 times prettier...but it was a size 8...damn...XD) But I'm still quite happy! And guess what? I took a moment trying it on today to check what brand it was - it's a Dere Kiang. And oddly it's the same dress I first posted here (albeit that was a stolen image from the official website by Chinese eBay sellers who will re-create it on the cheap...but not fast...otherwise I would grab it from them! lol Although, looking at "official" sites online - I got the best deal ever on it!) But, because I found out who it was by, I could find better pictures of it now! So here you go!
I'm also, trying to decide on veil now - black of course to go with the theme. Any help with deciding would be appreciated!
I seem to be liking the shorter veils for some reason.
This weekend I'm going Hallo-shopping with some of my friends and hopefully I can pick up the rest of my stuff for the party while there. (Although I did pick up a few Halloween things earlier today.)
Now, all that's left is to get my bridesmaids their lovely dresses. I'm also still looking for people to help make some creepy foods! Think of it like a potluck (for the party - I have food for the wedding dinner!) and bring some scary appetizers and sweets please!
And then it's all up to the day and heavy decorating! XD
Anyway, I have an appointment next Wednesday to see how much it would cost to take it in a little and add straps, and that's it! Dress shopping done! (Although, while I was there, I saw a dress 5 times prettier...but it was a size 8...damn...XD) But I'm still quite happy! And guess what? I took a moment trying it on today to check what brand it was - it's a Dere Kiang. And oddly it's the same dress I first posted here (albeit that was a stolen image from the official website by Chinese eBay sellers who will re-create it on the cheap...but not fast...otherwise I would grab it from them! lol Although, looking at "official" sites online - I got the best deal ever on it!) But, because I found out who it was by, I could find better pictures of it now! So here you go!
 |
| Remember, click to enlarge! |
 |
| So you can see the center jewel is clearly NOT a red stone! |
 |
| It's a tad longer on me though...lol I'm short. |
I'm between these two so far:
I seem to be liking the shorter veils for some reason.
This weekend I'm going Hallo-shopping with some of my friends and hopefully I can pick up the rest of my stuff for the party while there. (Although I did pick up a few Halloween things earlier today.)
Now, all that's left is to get my bridesmaids their lovely dresses. I'm also still looking for people to help make some creepy foods! Think of it like a potluck (for the party - I have food for the wedding dinner!) and bring some scary appetizers and sweets please!
And then it's all up to the day and heavy decorating! XD
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Wedding Update #7: Woohoo!!! Cabin rented!
So, first let me say this (in case the title didn't clue you in already) - I FINALLY GOT A CABIN RENTED!!!! And for the right days! Ohmigosh I'm just so excited!!!
Whew! Now that that's out of the way - let me tell you of how much trouble this wound up being first before showing you the pretty pics of the cabin I got!
First off, as you may know - I've been waiting on my money to come in and the wait has been causing almost all my problems. I managed to finally get my Mom and Dad to go in together and let me borrow $70 - just about what I needed to pay the 20% partial payment to reserve the cabin I had in mind. Well, I got it put in the bank and called up Red River Gorge's Cabin Rental place...the girl who answered was unsure about paying 20% and said the best she knew she could do on the particular cabin I had in mind was $100. I admitted I didn't have near that much so she said she would call the owner and get back to me. Well...I waited...and I waited...so then I called back to find out that she still hadn't gotten a hold of the owner due to the owner's husband being in the hospital. That was sad to hear and I felt kind of bad for bothering her. Well, later that night I checked the website - the cabin I had wanted had been rented! Argh! But - being somewhat persevering as I was I called again the next day - still no word on the 20%. Well, then I found out that many of my friends (for various reasons) could no longer make it. Then I decided - screw it! Go find a cheaper, smaller cabin - this way my $70 should cover the partial payment amount! Well I called again today - no answer. I called the owner's cell - no answer. I though 'Oh dear...there's not going to be anything left by the time I get enough money to pay in full! *sigh*' But then...I tried one.more.time! I got an answer! From the owner herself! She was on the road at the time but said 20% would be just fine! She called me back just a few minutes later and took all of my information! I went through so much for it to wind up being so dang simple!
So, it wasn't my first pick (Amazing Grace) and it wasn't my 2nd pick (Sundancer) - but what I got (though a lot smaller and less fancy-shmancy looking) is still a most excellent cabin indeed! And where it's at is truly beautiful! On a ridge top overlooking the gorge! It's a breathtaking spot indeed! Beautiful for sunrises/sunsets, and stargazing! I'll admit that I was quite tied between this one and the Grandview cabin - both had beautiful views - the Grandview had an excellent mountain view and the one I got (Kentucky Sunset) has an excellent view of the gorge - I was torn...but somehow KY Sunset won me over! It doesn't have the neat porch swing that the Grandview has...or the mountain view - but a gorge view with a hot tub overlooking it all and up on a little ridge top is truly great!
So here are some pics off their website of the cabin I rented - KY Sunset:
And for more pics, check it out on their website here: Kentucky Sunset - Red River Gorge Cabin Rentals
Whew! Now that that's out of the way - let me tell you of how much trouble this wound up being first before showing you the pretty pics of the cabin I got!
First off, as you may know - I've been waiting on my money to come in and the wait has been causing almost all my problems. I managed to finally get my Mom and Dad to go in together and let me borrow $70 - just about what I needed to pay the 20% partial payment to reserve the cabin I had in mind. Well, I got it put in the bank and called up Red River Gorge's Cabin Rental place...the girl who answered was unsure about paying 20% and said the best she knew she could do on the particular cabin I had in mind was $100. I admitted I didn't have near that much so she said she would call the owner and get back to me. Well...I waited...and I waited...so then I called back to find out that she still hadn't gotten a hold of the owner due to the owner's husband being in the hospital. That was sad to hear and I felt kind of bad for bothering her. Well, later that night I checked the website - the cabin I had wanted had been rented! Argh! But - being somewhat persevering as I was I called again the next day - still no word on the 20%. Well, then I found out that many of my friends (for various reasons) could no longer make it. Then I decided - screw it! Go find a cheaper, smaller cabin - this way my $70 should cover the partial payment amount! Well I called again today - no answer. I called the owner's cell - no answer. I though 'Oh dear...there's not going to be anything left by the time I get enough money to pay in full! *sigh*' But then...I tried one.more.time! I got an answer! From the owner herself! She was on the road at the time but said 20% would be just fine! She called me back just a few minutes later and took all of my information! I went through so much for it to wind up being so dang simple!
So, it wasn't my first pick (Amazing Grace) and it wasn't my 2nd pick (Sundancer) - but what I got (though a lot smaller and less fancy-shmancy looking) is still a most excellent cabin indeed! And where it's at is truly beautiful! On a ridge top overlooking the gorge! It's a breathtaking spot indeed! Beautiful for sunrises/sunsets, and stargazing! I'll admit that I was quite tied between this one and the Grandview cabin - both had beautiful views - the Grandview had an excellent mountain view and the one I got (Kentucky Sunset) has an excellent view of the gorge - I was torn...but somehow KY Sunset won me over! It doesn't have the neat porch swing that the Grandview has...or the mountain view - but a gorge view with a hot tub overlooking it all and up on a little ridge top is truly great!
So here are some pics off their website of the cabin I rented - KY Sunset:
 |
| Look at all that sky! I'm so taking my telescope for some stargazing! And guess what? Totally gonna be a Full Moon when I'm there! (Perhaps we can even have an Esbat ritual - or an early Samhain ritual!) |
 |
| Check out this hot tub on the deck! Look at the view from it! Gorgeous! |
 |
| And this is what you can see from the living room! O.O |
And if you scroll over to October on the reservation calendar - you see that October 29th and 30th is in green? Guess what? That's me! That's my reservation! YEEEEESSSSSS!!!!
So - now, what else is there to say? I have my location (wedding and reception), my officiant, my bridesmaids, my cake, my cabin - I have to go shopping for decorations and supplies soon (next weekend or the one after that I'll be out Halloween shopping with my friends for that.) I have to get my dress (fingers crossed that its still at the dress shop by some miracle...ordering online will be cutting it close!) Getting my bridesmaids their dresses. Placing orders for food (I think I'll just order large orders that day instead of catering exactly - there's not gonna be THAT many people!) Also, getting help with making the "creepy" foods. And then hoping all goes well!
Wish me luck everyone!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Wedding Update #6: Good and bad
Well, I have both good and bad news...which one should I tell you about first?
The bad? Get it over with now?
Alright then.
Bad news is this: I lost the chance at renting my dream cabin! I've been checking on it every single day while waiting on my money to come in to make sure no one else rented it before me for the 29th-30th of October...well, yesterday morning I checked while having a slight sense of dread...and sure enough, my sixth sense was right! It had been rented! So, I lost my #1 favorite, dream cabin! It feels terrible...my heart had been set on that one! But alas, I can do nothing about it...no sense in crying over spilled milk they say! Nothing you can do after it spills any way, just clean up the mess and continue along.
So, I went through their website and took note of some other cabins that are still open that I think are okay...they're not my dream cabin, but they're good enough. The only problem is they don't fit my top 3 criteria: good mountaintop view, wifi, and my own bed. All the other ones in my price range with wifi...are in the hills...not the mountaintop...but I've decided that the view is my #1 priority, so...no wifi it is, but at least I will get a good view! Also, I may have thought of something else to help out with my 'no wifi' issue...since my cellphone is a monthly advance pay plan...I can, for the month of October, add on a data plan and use my phone as a hot spot at the cabin! It will be slow as all get out...but at least I'll be able to check on my e-mail and school assignments if need be.
So...good news time!
I have an officiant! And two bridesmaids! Wheee!!!
I managed to suck it up (remember my fear of asking people favors?) and ask 3 of my closest friends to help out. I asked one of my friends to officiate for me, as sort of a return for officiating her wedding, plus, she's also pretty cool and said her hubby may just show up with fake beard and shot gun for my wedding! lmao!! (Sort of an in-joke I know...XD) Then I asked my two best friends to be my bridesmaids. They've been with me since I was 9 years old! So, of course, I wanted them to be with me for such an important day as well! And they both said they support my idea, even better! So excited! I've also made plans to 'treat' these three lovely gals for all their help when it gets closer to the date. :3
My only other concern is how many people will show up for the wedding, and the party, and if they'll have a lot of fun and enjoy themselves! (I certainly hope so! *fingers crossed it goes well*)
....and the decorations...but that's all later...shopping is in my future!
The bad? Get it over with now?
Alright then.
Bad news is this: I lost the chance at renting my dream cabin! I've been checking on it every single day while waiting on my money to come in to make sure no one else rented it before me for the 29th-30th of October...well, yesterday morning I checked while having a slight sense of dread...and sure enough, my sixth sense was right! It had been rented! So, I lost my #1 favorite, dream cabin! It feels terrible...my heart had been set on that one! But alas, I can do nothing about it...no sense in crying over spilled milk they say! Nothing you can do after it spills any way, just clean up the mess and continue along.
So, I went through their website and took note of some other cabins that are still open that I think are okay...they're not my dream cabin, but they're good enough. The only problem is they don't fit my top 3 criteria: good mountaintop view, wifi, and my own bed. All the other ones in my price range with wifi...are in the hills...not the mountaintop...but I've decided that the view is my #1 priority, so...no wifi it is, but at least I will get a good view! Also, I may have thought of something else to help out with my 'no wifi' issue...since my cellphone is a monthly advance pay plan...I can, for the month of October, add on a data plan and use my phone as a hot spot at the cabin! It will be slow as all get out...but at least I'll be able to check on my e-mail and school assignments if need be.
So...good news time!
I have an officiant! And two bridesmaids! Wheee!!!
I managed to suck it up (remember my fear of asking people favors?) and ask 3 of my closest friends to help out. I asked one of my friends to officiate for me, as sort of a return for officiating her wedding, plus, she's also pretty cool and said her hubby may just show up with fake beard and shot gun for my wedding! lmao!! (Sort of an in-joke I know...XD) Then I asked my two best friends to be my bridesmaids. They've been with me since I was 9 years old! So, of course, I wanted them to be with me for such an important day as well! And they both said they support my idea, even better! So excited! I've also made plans to 'treat' these three lovely gals for all their help when it gets closer to the date. :3
My only other concern is how many people will show up for the wedding, and the party, and if they'll have a lot of fun and enjoy themselves! (I certainly hope so! *fingers crossed it goes well*)
....and the decorations...but that's all later...shopping is in my future!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Wedding Update #5: A Cake and...ARGH!
So, there's been a slight change with my cake, but good thing is that I got confirmation this time! I'm having my wonderful cake made by Jennifer Noble from the Treehouse Cafe and Bakery, which is new and going to open soon. (Apparently she formerly worked at Py Cakes...I dunno what all happened...but I'm just glad I got someone to make my cake!) She was very nice and answered very quickly to all my questions and such, so I'm very happy about that! :) And not only am I gonna get my awesome cake, but it was very well priced too! Considering the sorts of prices I've seen on fancy cakes before, I was expecting it to be WAY up there! But, I was pleasantly surprised with the price! It made me even happier knowing how affordable it would be! So, I'm going to have a cake similar to the one I posted before, 2 layers, made out of red velvet and chocolate, and the pumpkin on top will be made out of rice crispies! Sounds yummy huh? (So happy!!!)
Now onto the next food related thing. I've decided where to cater the noms! I want a nice filling meal for everyone so I decided to go with some more home-style foods. I'm going to hopefully get all the side dishes from KFC and order some chicken from Joe's Drive-In. (You see, in the past couple of years I've had "issues" with the local KFC's chicken...namely that my chicken was always in a giant puddle of grease! I mean, no piece of fried chicken should be so greasy as to have the grease come through the parchment paper under it, through its cardboard box, and through several napkins under the box! And then to pick it up and have the skin slowly slide off into its own greasy pile...is...disgusting! And yes, I've ate at other KFC's that were just fine, and sometimes the local one is okay...but lately their track record with me has been...well...eww...at best...so...yeah, Joe's Chicken is the main course winner! That stuff was pretty much better than KFC's anyway! Go Joe's! But...I do love KFC's side dishes better! Their mashed potatoes and gravy is wonderful! (I mean, who DOESN'T like mashed taters!? Okay, so maybe the tater-loving Irish in me is sticking out a bit, but oh well!) Also, their Mac n Cheese! My Mom hates it as she likes more liquidy Mac, but I LOVE KFC's thick, ooey, gooey, cheesey Mac n Cheese! And their biscuits! Mmmm... Also, their cole slaw isn't bad either, and I'm not that much of a cole slaw lover, so that's saying quite a bit!)
The only thing this leaves is the appetizers and snacks, which I would like to be all..."creepy" for the occasion. So far, that's gonna be up to me to make, not sure how that's gonna turn out without some help. I want quite a few 'creepy' foods too, both sweets and savory ones. I'm thinking of trying my hand at things like foot-shaped meatloaf and such...we'll see how that goes. Hopefully someone with better cooking skills can lend me a hand! *pun most definitely intended XD*
So, the reception place is rented, cake has been ordered, caterers decided (will have to contact them about info on their catering services - but I'm rather certain they both do them. Joe's I know does, and I know KFC enjoys large orders (by the way, how weird is it to go to KFC and order only side dishes I wonder? lol) Also, the driving plan for that morning has been set! Go to Hazard, pick up cake, drive by KFC, then (since I'm going to Whitesburg, I can go by the lake way and stop by Joe's and then onto the 'burg. I wonder if the library will be okay with locking up the meeting room and kitchen so we can keep unwanted people out of the decorations and food during wedding time?) So far, so good! Just have to buy my dress (*fingers crossed that Pretty Impressions still has the one I want, 'cause eBay shipping from China might not make it in time!) and all the decor now pretty much (many Halloween shopping trips with my besties have been planned!) Except for one little thing...
RED RIVER GORGE! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!
Okay, so, I'm okay (so far) the cabin I want is still available for the 29th and 30th of October. (I know it is, because every.SINGLE.day I check their website like someone with OCD! And pray that when I scroll the reservations calendar to October that those days aren't covered in green squares (meaning 'reserved'). So far, so good...but it doesn't calm my worrying though.) I talked to my Mom about lending me some cash...but, she got started on this "That's too much (not what she would need to lend me, but for the total- that I'M paying!); Why don't you just take us?; We'd like to go!; Why don't you make your friends pay!" sort of thing...ugh. What I can't seem to get her to understand is that, whether anyone else goes or not - I'M GOING! Which means, if no one else went, I'd still be out the same amount! Plus, if my friends all had to pay I'd likely be going alone! I don't mind! I'm going anyway, and some of them will be paying the gas to drive themselves there, the only thing different is, I won't be going alone this way! And yes, they could come, but my family doesn't get along with all my friends, plus, they know nothing of this wedding thing and nothing about my asexuality! I don't want it to be awkward or there to be fights! (That's the opposite of what I want while there!) So...for now, I'm stuck with no clue on how to reserve my precious cabin for those days until I get my money in September, which may (or may not, hopefully) be too late. I can only keep my fingers crossed and pray that no one rents out that cabin for then before I can get to it.
And finally, the last thing. GUESTS! Again! I have a total of 6 people saying that they will be there right now, and 2 maybe's. (But, as we all know, normally only half the people who say their coming usually make it - at least in my experience.) So at the VERY best (everyone comes) that will be...8 people... :| And it will likely be closer to 3-4, if my experience counts for anything. That's...REALLY disappointing! For both the wedding and the party! I would ideally like to have around 6-8 really devoted people at the wedding and closer to 15+ for the dinner and party. After all, party's should have LOTS of people dancing and having fun! And, what am I going to do about an officiant or bridesmaids!? *sigh* What to do, what to do... I can always make a separate event page for the party, make it a friend's event instead of invite only, that should (theoretically) bring in more people for the party...but that doesn't help the wedding situation. Also, why don't people respond to invites!? Like it would kill them to take a second to click 'join', 'maybe', or 'decline'! I can see it if you're not sure about your schedule yet...but it's annoying, at least let me know something! Ordering food amounts without knowing how many people might be coming is...a dangerous guessing game between having WAY too much food, and WAY too less. Please let me know something people! (I should mention, also, since the event page I made was for the whole thing, I'm not really sure to what (out of my 8-10 guests) are going to show up for. I asked them to post whether they were going to the wedding, reception dinner, party, or all...but I only got like, 1 solid answer for that... :S
Anyway, trying to keep my spirits (lol!) up here and hope for the best! Maybe some sort of strange Halloween magick will be worked and I'll have lots of nice guests! (Hear that my witchy friends? You have my permission to work yer magicks! lol) After all, I'll need support there, and there will be a 1st, 2nd, 3rd place costume contest - I'll need plenty of guests to make that fun!)
Also, officiant-san, bridesmaids-san...(had to weird that up a bit there didn't I? XD) Where are you? Who will be you? Hm...
Now onto the next food related thing. I've decided where to cater the noms! I want a nice filling meal for everyone so I decided to go with some more home-style foods. I'm going to hopefully get all the side dishes from KFC and order some chicken from Joe's Drive-In. (You see, in the past couple of years I've had "issues" with the local KFC's chicken...namely that my chicken was always in a giant puddle of grease! I mean, no piece of fried chicken should be so greasy as to have the grease come through the parchment paper under it, through its cardboard box, and through several napkins under the box! And then to pick it up and have the skin slowly slide off into its own greasy pile...is...disgusting! And yes, I've ate at other KFC's that were just fine, and sometimes the local one is okay...but lately their track record with me has been...well...eww...at best...so...yeah, Joe's Chicken is the main course winner! That stuff was pretty much better than KFC's anyway! Go Joe's! But...I do love KFC's side dishes better! Their mashed potatoes and gravy is wonderful! (I mean, who DOESN'T like mashed taters!? Okay, so maybe the tater-loving Irish in me is sticking out a bit, but oh well!) Also, their Mac n Cheese! My Mom hates it as she likes more liquidy Mac, but I LOVE KFC's thick, ooey, gooey, cheesey Mac n Cheese! And their biscuits! Mmmm... Also, their cole slaw isn't bad either, and I'm not that much of a cole slaw lover, so that's saying quite a bit!)
The only thing this leaves is the appetizers and snacks, which I would like to be all..."creepy" for the occasion. So far, that's gonna be up to me to make, not sure how that's gonna turn out without some help. I want quite a few 'creepy' foods too, both sweets and savory ones. I'm thinking of trying my hand at things like foot-shaped meatloaf and such...we'll see how that goes. Hopefully someone with better cooking skills can lend me a hand! *pun most definitely intended XD*
So, the reception place is rented, cake has been ordered, caterers decided (will have to contact them about info on their catering services - but I'm rather certain they both do them. Joe's I know does, and I know KFC enjoys large orders (by the way, how weird is it to go to KFC and order only side dishes I wonder? lol) Also, the driving plan for that morning has been set! Go to Hazard, pick up cake, drive by KFC, then (since I'm going to Whitesburg, I can go by the lake way and stop by Joe's and then onto the 'burg. I wonder if the library will be okay with locking up the meeting room and kitchen so we can keep unwanted people out of the decorations and food during wedding time?) So far, so good! Just have to buy my dress (*fingers crossed that Pretty Impressions still has the one I want, 'cause eBay shipping from China might not make it in time!) and all the decor now pretty much (many Halloween shopping trips with my besties have been planned!) Except for one little thing...
RED RIVER GORGE! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!
Okay, so, I'm okay (so far) the cabin I want is still available for the 29th and 30th of October. (I know it is, because every.SINGLE.day I check their website like someone with OCD! And pray that when I scroll the reservations calendar to October that those days aren't covered in green squares (meaning 'reserved'). So far, so good...but it doesn't calm my worrying though.) I talked to my Mom about lending me some cash...but, she got started on this "That's too much (not what she would need to lend me, but for the total- that I'M paying!); Why don't you just take us?; We'd like to go!; Why don't you make your friends pay!" sort of thing...ugh. What I can't seem to get her to understand is that, whether anyone else goes or not - I'M GOING! Which means, if no one else went, I'd still be out the same amount! Plus, if my friends all had to pay I'd likely be going alone! I don't mind! I'm going anyway, and some of them will be paying the gas to drive themselves there, the only thing different is, I won't be going alone this way! And yes, they could come, but my family doesn't get along with all my friends, plus, they know nothing of this wedding thing and nothing about my asexuality! I don't want it to be awkward or there to be fights! (That's the opposite of what I want while there!) So...for now, I'm stuck with no clue on how to reserve my precious cabin for those days until I get my money in September, which may (or may not, hopefully) be too late. I can only keep my fingers crossed and pray that no one rents out that cabin for then before I can get to it.
 |
| I mean, who wouldn't want to go here!? Look at the view through those windows! Amazing! |
And finally, the last thing. GUESTS! Again! I have a total of 6 people saying that they will be there right now, and 2 maybe's. (But, as we all know, normally only half the people who say their coming usually make it - at least in my experience.) So at the VERY best (everyone comes) that will be...8 people... :| And it will likely be closer to 3-4, if my experience counts for anything. That's...REALLY disappointing! For both the wedding and the party! I would ideally like to have around 6-8 really devoted people at the wedding and closer to 15+ for the dinner and party. After all, party's should have LOTS of people dancing and having fun! And, what am I going to do about an officiant or bridesmaids!? *sigh* What to do, what to do... I can always make a separate event page for the party, make it a friend's event instead of invite only, that should (theoretically) bring in more people for the party...but that doesn't help the wedding situation. Also, why don't people respond to invites!? Like it would kill them to take a second to click 'join', 'maybe', or 'decline'! I can see it if you're not sure about your schedule yet...but it's annoying, at least let me know something! Ordering food amounts without knowing how many people might be coming is...a dangerous guessing game between having WAY too much food, and WAY too less. Please let me know something people! (I should mention, also, since the event page I made was for the whole thing, I'm not really sure to what (out of my 8-10 guests) are going to show up for. I asked them to post whether they were going to the wedding, reception dinner, party, or all...but I only got like, 1 solid answer for that... :S
Anyway, trying to keep my spirits (lol!) up here and hope for the best! Maybe some sort of strange Halloween magick will be worked and I'll have lots of nice guests! (Hear that my witchy friends? You have my permission to work yer magicks! lol) After all, I'll need support there, and there will be a 1st, 2nd, 3rd place costume contest - I'll need plenty of guests to make that fun!)
Also, officiant-san, bridesmaids-san...(had to weird that up a bit there didn't I? XD) Where are you? Who will be you? Hm...
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wedding Update #4: One Day After the problems...
So, I called Py Cakes today and asked if they would be able to do a cake for the 27th of October and they said yes! So, I just finished e-mailing them the details of my order. I can only hope it all goes well since they never responded to my posts or my last e-mail. But at least they have the day open for me! That's something! *fingers crossed that it works out and I get a gorgeous cake!*
Onto one of my other problems...the cabin. I still don't know what to do about that! I've been thinking of asking my Mom to let me borrow some of my Christmas money she has saved to reserve it and then pay her back come September so that I can make sure I have the cabin reserved before someone else grabs it! But, when I tried to casually bring it up yesterday (I absolutely freak out when asking someone something!) she didn't seem to care too much about the idea, so I'm still VERY worried about that! I still have not told her about my plans, I just said I was wanting to go to Red River Gorge - which I've been wanting to do for about a year now. So she has no idea how important getting the right cabin and getting it on the right date means to me. (Then again, I've yet to even come out to my parents about my asexuality either...even though I wrote a letter out to them months ago...I have yet to have the guts to print it out and give it to them. >.< I'm a scaredy cat, I'll admit that.)
So, I likely have the library for my reception and party and I likely will have a cake! That's 2 out of 4 down! (Unless something comes up....please, oh please, let everything work out!!!!) But I still don't know what to do about the "honeymoon" trip or about how many people are going to come. In my e-mail to Py Cakes I told them there would be around 20 people...but so far I only have 5-6 people coming and that's if they ALL make it! And I'm not sure yet if all those are coming to the wedding or just the dinner and party. (So far, only one person has for absolutely sure said they are coming to the wedding...that's...disappointing (but yay for that one person!)..."C'mon people! Get a move on!")
Also, I have yet to find someone to officiate. They obviously don't need to be legally ordained or anything since this isn't a legal wedding. I just need someone who can be there to preside over the wedding, someone who can be serious and say a few things as well as someone who can be very comforting and reliable; I want it to be someone I look up to...but that isn't working out yet. I also really want to have at least a couple bridesmaids. (I guess in my case, they would be my best (friends/) supporters.) I have some people in mind that I'd LOVE to ask! But, I'm afraid that asking them specifically would end in them feeling honored and saying "Absolutely!" even if they don't really want to be a part of it (what I wouldn't do to be able to have the power to know if they really want to do it or not before asking!) (I guess you could say I'm paranoid about feeling like I'm forcing them...err...okay, so I actually do suffer from a mild bit of paranoia in general...but still.) After all, they'd have to buy their dresses and such (well, I could buy them for them as gifts if I really, really had to I guess) and then there's whether they'd actually like the dresses that I want them to wear or if they'd just wear them the one time because of me and I don't want them to have to buy or wear something that they don't love as much as I do! Perhaps I worry far too much eh? But it still bothers me.
So yeah...things still feel very stalled right now...perhaps not as failing as yesterday...uhm...a *pinches fingers together* tad. But yeah, I still don't feel very confident about this whole thing and whether it will work out or not. I've never been a very assured person...and the way things are going isn't helping. *grimaces*
Onto one of my other problems...the cabin. I still don't know what to do about that! I've been thinking of asking my Mom to let me borrow some of my Christmas money she has saved to reserve it and then pay her back come September so that I can make sure I have the cabin reserved before someone else grabs it! But, when I tried to casually bring it up yesterday (I absolutely freak out when asking someone something!) she didn't seem to care too much about the idea, so I'm still VERY worried about that! I still have not told her about my plans, I just said I was wanting to go to Red River Gorge - which I've been wanting to do for about a year now. So she has no idea how important getting the right cabin and getting it on the right date means to me. (Then again, I've yet to even come out to my parents about my asexuality either...even though I wrote a letter out to them months ago...I have yet to have the guts to print it out and give it to them. >.< I'm a scaredy cat, I'll admit that.)
So, I likely have the library for my reception and party and I likely will have a cake! That's 2 out of 4 down! (Unless something comes up....please, oh please, let everything work out!!!!) But I still don't know what to do about the "honeymoon" trip or about how many people are going to come. In my e-mail to Py Cakes I told them there would be around 20 people...but so far I only have 5-6 people coming and that's if they ALL make it! And I'm not sure yet if all those are coming to the wedding or just the dinner and party. (So far, only one person has for absolutely sure said they are coming to the wedding...that's...disappointing (but yay for that one person!)..."C'mon people! Get a move on!")
Also, I have yet to find someone to officiate. They obviously don't need to be legally ordained or anything since this isn't a legal wedding. I just need someone who can be there to preside over the wedding, someone who can be serious and say a few things as well as someone who can be very comforting and reliable; I want it to be someone I look up to...but that isn't working out yet. I also really want to have at least a couple bridesmaids. (I guess in my case, they would be my best (friends/) supporters.) I have some people in mind that I'd LOVE to ask! But, I'm afraid that asking them specifically would end in them feeling honored and saying "Absolutely!" even if they don't really want to be a part of it (what I wouldn't do to be able to have the power to know if they really want to do it or not before asking!) (I guess you could say I'm paranoid about feeling like I'm forcing them...err...okay, so I actually do suffer from a mild bit of paranoia in general...but still.) After all, they'd have to buy their dresses and such (well, I could buy them for them as gifts if I really, really had to I guess) and then there's whether they'd actually like the dresses that I want them to wear or if they'd just wear them the one time because of me and I don't want them to have to buy or wear something that they don't love as much as I do! Perhaps I worry far too much eh? But it still bothers me.
So yeah...things still feel very stalled right now...perhaps not as failing as yesterday...uhm...a *pinches fingers together* tad. But yeah, I still don't feel very confident about this whole thing and whether it will work out or not. I've never been a very assured person...and the way things are going isn't helping. *grimaces*
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Wedding Update 3: Problems set in...
Okay, so...technically speaking there's already been a few hitches and snags and a few things that might need a more definite ironing out (or rather, beating out with a stick!) But today, in trying to iron the things out that REALLY need it (like reservations, dates, and such) I've managed to somehow run into MORE problems! Some of them are some pretty serious ones at that!
First of all...after much thought...I decided on the date! I decided that I should have it on Saturday, October 27th. But that itself, is causing it's own set of problems as I'll discuss a little later. But first on my BIG problems list - my cake.
My first choice of cake maker was sadly already booked for the weekend before Halloween. So, six days ago I posted on the Facebook page of my 2nd choice of cake maker. Well, they've never gotten back to me! Even though they have posted things on their page since then, so I know they've had to see the notification. So, I figured on a slightly more direct approach. They mentioned that you should e-mail them for cake orders. So, three days ago I sent them an e-mail about reserving the 27th and ordering my cake. Still no reply. I meant to call them today but got back from town much too late to do so. I can only dearly hope that when I call them tomorrow that they will be able to make my cake that weekend...otherwise...well, I don't really know anyone else who could make it! Oh, I'm sure there's other people and places around but I don't know of them and I haven't seen what sort of work they do. I'm in a real pinch here! I don't necessarily need a cake, but I would very much love to!
Onto problem #2 - Reception Venue
My reception is to be at the library in town, in one of their big meeting rooms upstairs. BUT! I called them today and someone answered who sounded....different than normal...in fact at first, I wasn't even sure it was one of the librarians. But I asked about the meeting rooms and, after a few issues, they said they had it and hung up. But a few things about it bothered me...like they didn't double check about the date nor did they ask what times I would need the room for, nor mention the cost (even though last time they told me it was $30 and never took my money...O.o), nor even tell me if anything else was happening that day like they normally do. I figure the person was likely new and might not of been used to taking calls and reserving rooms...but still...it made me feel very unsure about whether I completely have the room or not...guess it made me nervous.
Problem #3 - The Honeymoon
So, the other day I contacted Red River Gorge's cabin rentals about which one of their cabins would be best for stargazing, had a nice mountain-top view, and had wi-fi and the such. They recommended one of their new ones, called Amazing Grace, because several people had said it was one of the best spots up their to watch the night sky and it had both a treeline view and a view of the cliffs below in the gorge. So, I went to their site and found it to be an absolutely beautiful cabin! Plus, it has plenty of room for friends, including Queen bunks for late-night chatting and a game room with pool table! It has everything I could want! Due to their prices though, I decided I would stay there on that Monday and Tuesday (the 29th and 30th). I called them today after reading through their site and seeing that, if I wanted to pay cash, I could give them my credit card number to put a hold on the cabin and pay when I got there. What I apparently missed though, was that you must pay at least 20% on the cabin rental upfront for them to reserve it for you. I...don't have the money...and won't until around the 2nd week of September. It's my DREAM cabin! But...unless I find a way to pony up over $80 very quickly...I'll likely lose out on it. This potential problem is dealing me a crushing and sad blow. I am SO afraid that I won't be able to get the cabin I'm dreaming of! Sure, there's others but...not many have that wonderful ridge-top view I love as well as wi-fi access (which, being the internet addicted person I am, I'll need. Well, that and 3 of my college courses are online...yeah I normally make sure I'm a week ahead in my online work...but some classes don't make that possible with the way they post assignments, plus having internet access assures me that should something go wrong with my work, I'll be able to do something about it while I'm there before it becomes a BIGGER problem! Also, I know I shouldn't be doing homework on my honeymoon...but...this is the real world...and she sucks!)
And then there's Big Problem #4...and my most dreaded one since the beginning...
Guests! Since I'm not sure how many people will take to this whole self-wedding thing, I have been very selective in who I let know about it (such as my closest friends and most open-minded friends). [Although the reception dinner and party is open to any of my friends who want to eat and party!] But, after announcing the date (which was picked because of so many people's complications with attending on Halloween day) I've noticed that I only have a couple or so people who are definite about attending the wedding. (Certainly I would have more if I invited every one of my friends...well, hopefully...they may just all think I'm nuts and make sure not to come! :'( I wanted to have a small wedding party of really accepting folk...6-8 maybe...something like that. Have someone to officiate, a couple or so bridesmaids, and a few non-participators to watch/take pics, etc. But it looks like, at best...I'll be lucky...if 2-3 people show up! And just to watch at that! No bridesmaids, no officiant....nothing... This just won't work! It's making me terribly distraught and uncertain about the whole thing. It's ruining as much of my confidence as I think it would if my closest friends just up and told me it was stupid and they weren't going to have anything to do with it! I am now having the thought that, maybe I should do it on Sunday instead of Saturday! That'd help right? That was my first choice. But then I thought that Saturday would be better for everyone...that more people could come! Not less! Plus this would give me a whole day of rest after all the partying to go back home, unload the shit ton of decorations and leftovers and get some sleep in before driving 2 hours to the Gorge! I know I can't please everyone's schedules...but still...
Perhaps I'm worrying too much, perhaps it'll be just fine...but...
But...nothing seems to be working out...I was so excited! So pumped! It gave me something to look forward too, something to plan, something to do every day! (I mean, just check out my Pinterest board for some of what I've been doing and planning: Halloween Wedding Board) But now...I'm feeling almost as if I should cancel everything...I've become so disinheartened. I figured on 6-8 wedding guests and close to 20 reception/party guests. Now it looks like at best I'll have 2-3 wedding guests (no wedding party) and maybe...5-6 people at the reception and party! With as much as I was going to do, with as much money as I was planning on spending for this - to make it something fun and great...I'm afraid anything under a total of 10 people...isn't....worth it. And it's killing my very soul. I DON'T want to cancel! I want to have all my friends there! I want to have fun with everyone! (It's starting to feel like all my old birthdays where I ponied up $50-$100 to rent a place and invited every single person I knew and only got like...2... people to show up...at most! Once, no one showed up! And the 2nd time, only 2 came, and one got there because I literally stopped at his house and drug him with me! The last time, I invited 20 friends and expected at least half...I got 5...not a good track record there.)
It always seems like every time I plan something, it goes terribly wrong somehow...and I always wind up crying the night after. I DON'T want that to happen again! This whole thing is about improving myself! Perhaps I should just not care and have it anyway? Because I've always wanted to...because I've dreamed of it for so long. But...what if hardly anyone at all shows up? How about if no one enjoys it? What if I wind up spending the night crying again!? I know I can't expect things to go perfectly (when does it!?) and I know I can be an irritating perfectionist with things, but...I can't help but feel this way (even though feeling hurt as easily as this is one of the things I want to work on improving!)
I also can't help but have that strange feeling that...if this was a REAL wedding...a, me marrying some dude sort of wedding, if it would be different somehow? If more people would be excited and try their best to come? (I can understand things coming up and already having plans and such, I don't hold people accountable for things they can't control and I DEFINITELY don't like guilt-ing (or feeling like I'm guilt-ing) anyone into anything...cause then I...well I feel worse than shit! So maybe I shouldn't even say anything. But isn't keeping things in just as bad? It's what I always do when somethings bothering me, and I hate it...but I also always regret saying something about it too...even when it's true. I'll probably wind up regretting posting this and sharing it. See why I want to have something like this now? I want to make a commitment to improve myself when it comes to things like these!) But, if it was me marrying someone else...would it be different? I have no way of knowing for sure, but I can't help but have that awful feeling in the back of my mind and in my gut that...is this wasn't something so rare, so un-heard of...if it was..."normal"...would this still all be happening? I mean, it certainly could...but would it?
And, I'm sorry to say, but my friends should probably never expect something like a "normal" wedding to happen with me. Sure, it'd certainly be nice to find some asexual guy who likes me and whom I can get along with...but with only around 1% of the population being asexual...what are the chances of that!? And how about if he was a romantic asexual? The hugging, kissing, cuddling type...could he even stand me!? Because I'm not like that...I can't stand those things. Or, even if he wasn't ace, could we get along? Could we make it work? It hasn't happened yet...and quite frankly with as shy and introverted as I am, with as weird and eccentric as I am, I really don't logically see it happening. So, for me, logically speaking, this will likely me the ONLY time I ever get to have a wedding! I want, like every other bride, for this to be great, for it to be fun, for it to be... special...but I have this awfully, sneaking suspicion that, unless things change, it will be nothing more than a complete fail and another check mark on my growing list of failed "fun" events.
Like I said, I'll probably regret posting this and sharing it...but I promise not to delete it. I NEEDED to get this out. Sorry I'm such a sad sack of depression and uneasiness. But, it's truth...it's honesty...it's me and how I feel. I'm sharing it. That's rare. It's hard for me to do. It's something I want to improve...even though it hurts and will likely always hurt. Welcome to my world. Please don't suddenly and frantically change your minds or start apologizing. I know the intention is good...but it only makes me feel worse...for making you feel worse. Please, don't make this harder on me than it already is.
First of all...after much thought...I decided on the date! I decided that I should have it on Saturday, October 27th. But that itself, is causing it's own set of problems as I'll discuss a little later. But first on my BIG problems list - my cake.
My first choice of cake maker was sadly already booked for the weekend before Halloween. So, six days ago I posted on the Facebook page of my 2nd choice of cake maker. Well, they've never gotten back to me! Even though they have posted things on their page since then, so I know they've had to see the notification. So, I figured on a slightly more direct approach. They mentioned that you should e-mail them for cake orders. So, three days ago I sent them an e-mail about reserving the 27th and ordering my cake. Still no reply. I meant to call them today but got back from town much too late to do so. I can only dearly hope that when I call them tomorrow that they will be able to make my cake that weekend...otherwise...well, I don't really know anyone else who could make it! Oh, I'm sure there's other people and places around but I don't know of them and I haven't seen what sort of work they do. I'm in a real pinch here! I don't necessarily need a cake, but I would very much love to!
Onto problem #2 - Reception Venue
My reception is to be at the library in town, in one of their big meeting rooms upstairs. BUT! I called them today and someone answered who sounded....different than normal...in fact at first, I wasn't even sure it was one of the librarians. But I asked about the meeting rooms and, after a few issues, they said they had it and hung up. But a few things about it bothered me...like they didn't double check about the date nor did they ask what times I would need the room for, nor mention the cost (even though last time they told me it was $30 and never took my money...O.o), nor even tell me if anything else was happening that day like they normally do. I figure the person was likely new and might not of been used to taking calls and reserving rooms...but still...it made me feel very unsure about whether I completely have the room or not...guess it made me nervous.
Problem #3 - The Honeymoon
So, the other day I contacted Red River Gorge's cabin rentals about which one of their cabins would be best for stargazing, had a nice mountain-top view, and had wi-fi and the such. They recommended one of their new ones, called Amazing Grace, because several people had said it was one of the best spots up their to watch the night sky and it had both a treeline view and a view of the cliffs below in the gorge. So, I went to their site and found it to be an absolutely beautiful cabin! Plus, it has plenty of room for friends, including Queen bunks for late-night chatting and a game room with pool table! It has everything I could want! Due to their prices though, I decided I would stay there on that Monday and Tuesday (the 29th and 30th). I called them today after reading through their site and seeing that, if I wanted to pay cash, I could give them my credit card number to put a hold on the cabin and pay when I got there. What I apparently missed though, was that you must pay at least 20% on the cabin rental upfront for them to reserve it for you. I...don't have the money...and won't until around the 2nd week of September. It's my DREAM cabin! But...unless I find a way to pony up over $80 very quickly...I'll likely lose out on it. This potential problem is dealing me a crushing and sad blow. I am SO afraid that I won't be able to get the cabin I'm dreaming of! Sure, there's others but...not many have that wonderful ridge-top view I love as well as wi-fi access (which, being the internet addicted person I am, I'll need. Well, that and 3 of my college courses are online...yeah I normally make sure I'm a week ahead in my online work...but some classes don't make that possible with the way they post assignments, plus having internet access assures me that should something go wrong with my work, I'll be able to do something about it while I'm there before it becomes a BIGGER problem! Also, I know I shouldn't be doing homework on my honeymoon...but...this is the real world...and she sucks!)
And then there's Big Problem #4...and my most dreaded one since the beginning...
Guests! Since I'm not sure how many people will take to this whole self-wedding thing, I have been very selective in who I let know about it (such as my closest friends and most open-minded friends). [Although the reception dinner and party is open to any of my friends who want to eat and party!] But, after announcing the date (which was picked because of so many people's complications with attending on Halloween day) I've noticed that I only have a couple or so people who are definite about attending the wedding. (Certainly I would have more if I invited every one of my friends...well, hopefully...they may just all think I'm nuts and make sure not to come! :'( I wanted to have a small wedding party of really accepting folk...6-8 maybe...something like that. Have someone to officiate, a couple or so bridesmaids, and a few non-participators to watch/take pics, etc. But it looks like, at best...I'll be lucky...if 2-3 people show up! And just to watch at that! No bridesmaids, no officiant....nothing... This just won't work! It's making me terribly distraught and uncertain about the whole thing. It's ruining as much of my confidence as I think it would if my closest friends just up and told me it was stupid and they weren't going to have anything to do with it! I am now having the thought that, maybe I should do it on Sunday instead of Saturday! That'd help right? That was my first choice. But then I thought that Saturday would be better for everyone...that more people could come! Not less! Plus this would give me a whole day of rest after all the partying to go back home, unload the shit ton of decorations and leftovers and get some sleep in before driving 2 hours to the Gorge! I know I can't please everyone's schedules...but still...
Perhaps I'm worrying too much, perhaps it'll be just fine...but...
But...nothing seems to be working out...I was so excited! So pumped! It gave me something to look forward too, something to plan, something to do every day! (I mean, just check out my Pinterest board for some of what I've been doing and planning: Halloween Wedding Board) But now...I'm feeling almost as if I should cancel everything...I've become so disinheartened. I figured on 6-8 wedding guests and close to 20 reception/party guests. Now it looks like at best I'll have 2-3 wedding guests (no wedding party) and maybe...5-6 people at the reception and party! With as much as I was going to do, with as much money as I was planning on spending for this - to make it something fun and great...I'm afraid anything under a total of 10 people...isn't....worth it. And it's killing my very soul. I DON'T want to cancel! I want to have all my friends there! I want to have fun with everyone! (It's starting to feel like all my old birthdays where I ponied up $50-$100 to rent a place and invited every single person I knew and only got like...2... people to show up...at most! Once, no one showed up! And the 2nd time, only 2 came, and one got there because I literally stopped at his house and drug him with me! The last time, I invited 20 friends and expected at least half...I got 5...not a good track record there.)
It always seems like every time I plan something, it goes terribly wrong somehow...and I always wind up crying the night after. I DON'T want that to happen again! This whole thing is about improving myself! Perhaps I should just not care and have it anyway? Because I've always wanted to...because I've dreamed of it for so long. But...what if hardly anyone at all shows up? How about if no one enjoys it? What if I wind up spending the night crying again!? I know I can't expect things to go perfectly (when does it!?) and I know I can be an irritating perfectionist with things, but...I can't help but feel this way (even though feeling hurt as easily as this is one of the things I want to work on improving!)
I also can't help but have that strange feeling that...if this was a REAL wedding...a, me marrying some dude sort of wedding, if it would be different somehow? If more people would be excited and try their best to come? (I can understand things coming up and already having plans and such, I don't hold people accountable for things they can't control and I DEFINITELY don't like guilt-ing (or feeling like I'm guilt-ing) anyone into anything...cause then I...well I feel worse than shit! So maybe I shouldn't even say anything. But isn't keeping things in just as bad? It's what I always do when somethings bothering me, and I hate it...but I also always regret saying something about it too...even when it's true. I'll probably wind up regretting posting this and sharing it. See why I want to have something like this now? I want to make a commitment to improve myself when it comes to things like these!) But, if it was me marrying someone else...would it be different? I have no way of knowing for sure, but I can't help but have that awful feeling in the back of my mind and in my gut that...is this wasn't something so rare, so un-heard of...if it was..."normal"...would this still all be happening? I mean, it certainly could...but would it?
And, I'm sorry to say, but my friends should probably never expect something like a "normal" wedding to happen with me. Sure, it'd certainly be nice to find some asexual guy who likes me and whom I can get along with...but with only around 1% of the population being asexual...what are the chances of that!? And how about if he was a romantic asexual? The hugging, kissing, cuddling type...could he even stand me!? Because I'm not like that...I can't stand those things. Or, even if he wasn't ace, could we get along? Could we make it work? It hasn't happened yet...and quite frankly with as shy and introverted as I am, with as weird and eccentric as I am, I really don't logically see it happening. So, for me, logically speaking, this will likely me the ONLY time I ever get to have a wedding! I want, like every other bride, for this to be great, for it to be fun, for it to be... special...but I have this awfully, sneaking suspicion that, unless things change, it will be nothing more than a complete fail and another check mark on my growing list of failed "fun" events.
Like I said, I'll probably regret posting this and sharing it...but I promise not to delete it. I NEEDED to get this out. Sorry I'm such a sad sack of depression and uneasiness. But, it's truth...it's honesty...it's me and how I feel. I'm sharing it. That's rare. It's hard for me to do. It's something I want to improve...even though it hurts and will likely always hurt. Welcome to my world. Please don't suddenly and frantically change your minds or start apologizing. I know the intention is good...but it only makes me feel worse...for making you feel worse. Please, don't make this harder on me than it already is.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Wedding Update 2: Decoration Ideas, Food, and Cake!
So I've decided that my colors will be Black and Maroon (/Orchid/Plum-ish...around those shades) with hints of orange. This way some of my favorite colors will be included as well as matching with the Fall theme.
Because of this, I hope to be able to buy (or make) a maroon veil with black flowers and black trim. This way it will match my black/maroon bouquet (may add a few small orange flowers or leaves in there too.) I'm still trying to decide how to bring in some of my colors to my actual dress though. I'm hoping that the jewel on the front of the dress I like so much is just very simply sewed on, so that I may be able to take it off, add a maroon ribbon around my waist that will trail down my side or back and then re-sew the jewel on top of the ribbon. (I also plan on color coordinating my finger and toe nails. Hehheh.)
For the reception decor, since I want to have the actual wedding outside -preferably on the top of Pine Mt. around one of the lookouts (or the gazebo) on Little Shepherd's Trail (so very little -to no- decoration will have to be used for that) I've decided to try and find tall, clear vases and fill them with fall leaf garlands (conveniently and cheaply found at the Dollar Tree!) and fairy lights that will spiral around the inside of the vases (fairy lights are small, battery powered lcd's on a tiny string). These will be the centerpieces. (ALSO! Does anyone have any of those tall vases? They're hella expensive online!) After that, cover the tables in matching runners of some sort and tie tulle bows to the chairs. Of course, there will still be a bit more decorations, but so far I think I have the main parts hammered out in my head. (Also, this will be for the reception dinner...after that...I'm gonna change things up a bit and bring in some more "spooky" decorations for the party!)
Centerpiece examples:
Because of this, I hope to be able to buy (or make) a maroon veil with black flowers and black trim. This way it will match my black/maroon bouquet (may add a few small orange flowers or leaves in there too.) I'm still trying to decide how to bring in some of my colors to my actual dress though. I'm hoping that the jewel on the front of the dress I like so much is just very simply sewed on, so that I may be able to take it off, add a maroon ribbon around my waist that will trail down my side or back and then re-sew the jewel on top of the ribbon. (I also plan on color coordinating my finger and toe nails. Hehheh.)
For the reception decor, since I want to have the actual wedding outside -preferably on the top of Pine Mt. around one of the lookouts (or the gazebo) on Little Shepherd's Trail (so very little -to no- decoration will have to be used for that) I've decided to try and find tall, clear vases and fill them with fall leaf garlands (conveniently and cheaply found at the Dollar Tree!) and fairy lights that will spiral around the inside of the vases (fairy lights are small, battery powered lcd's on a tiny string). These will be the centerpieces. (ALSO! Does anyone have any of those tall vases? They're hella expensive online!) After that, cover the tables in matching runners of some sort and tie tulle bows to the chairs. Of course, there will still be a bit more decorations, but so far I think I have the main parts hammered out in my head. (Also, this will be for the reception dinner...after that...I'm gonna change things up a bit and bring in some more "spooky" decorations for the party!)
Centerpiece examples:
 |
| Think similar to this, with the lights below swirling upward in the vase. |
| Fairy lights - These come in several other colors as well. Also, the site I found these on, has TONS of decorating stuff! Reasonable prices too! You can check out their other stuff here: Save-On-Crafts |
And, of course, every Ace (asexual) needs their cake! (Sorry, for the in-joke...it's an asexual/AVEN thing...I believe it started with something about "Cake is better than sex!" and probably the show, Ace of Cakes that was on the Food Network before ('Ace' being short for 'Asexual.)
Annnnyyyyway..... (sorry for the bad joke...)
I thought long and hard about what sort of cake I wanted...one that represented me, one that fit the theme, etc. After much deliberation, I've decided that since I LOVE Halloween and Fall, that a cake fitting the theme, also fits me! I've found TONS of REALLY nice Halloween cakes! The decision was hard! Some were more gruesome, some more spooky, some childish, some cartoon-y, some very Tim Burton-y (those ones are awesome btw!), some shaped like skulls and other body parts, some more elegant. For now though...I think I've fallen most in love with this one:
This cake has slight elegance (sort of...lol) is not too creepy or gore-y, looks pretty (not too childishly cute, not too grown up), and it finds a nice medium in-between straight Halloween cake and straight Fall cake. (And as Goth as I am, and as cool as they are...it's not a stereotypical "goth" cake that's all red and black and nothing else. Don't get me wrong though, some of those are nice...but they just don't...feel right for this to me for some reason. This cake, however reminds me of that crisp air, dark nights, Fall/Halloween vibe that I love soooo much!)
As far as someone to make the cake, I have two people I know of that might could pull it off. One is an actual bakery and one is my old middle school algebra teacher who can rock an awesome cake! Hopefully, someone can pull this beauty off nicely! (Also, if you're curious about flavorings...I'm thinking a nice chocolate/red velvet mix...sound yummy enough?)
As far as the other food goes...I'm sort of leaning towards something easy and well-priced to get. Like, say Joe Pack's chicken? (By the way, if you've never had Joe Pack's chicken...you are missing out on a great local (Letcher County, KY) food source! And then perhaps have some hearty sides like macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, potato salad, etc. You know, those good, 'warm your insides' types of foods? I want my guests to both enjoy their food and also get enough of it so that they don't have to nibble on something else when they get home! Also, I figured, due to the theme and the party afterwards, that some "creepy" snacks and appetizers (some sweet, some savory) should be brought in as well. I may just have those catered though since I likely will have all sorts of issues and screw-ups trying to make creepy food dishes! Also, since I don't care for alcohol and weddings to be mixed (and because the reception will likely be at Whitesburg Library's meeting rooms and I don't know how they would feel about drunken people on their property) I've decided that instead of a cocktail bar...(and since it would be near Halloween)...how about a candy bar? I'll have a table full of yummy treats and some cute little bags and guests can create their own yummy Halloween treat bags! It also doubles as a sort of favor for my guests (the other favor I'm thinking should be bubble or glow stick related...there will be raving at the party after all!)
And on a VERY important note:
The date! Oh my goodness! The DATE! What an annoying situation that is!
After much deliberation (and some heavy sighing since I would love to have a Halloween-versay - well, I guess each year I could celebrate it each year on Halloween anyway though. lol.) I've decided that my wedding will take place either Saturday, October 27th or Sunday, October 28th. This way, more people should be able to come and it wouldn't interfere (as much) with people's schedules (be they work, school, or Trick or Treating). It seems however, that my "honeymoon" afterwards will have me missing a day of class though, maybe - depending on the say I have the wedding, since Red River makes you book at least two nights, and c'mon...I want at LEAST that much of a vacation! But, I'll just have to work that out with my Drawing teacher somehow. Also, this would put me being back home in time to enjoy Halloween day with my friends! (I'm also thinking, that since I wouldn't leave for Red River Gorge until the day AFTER my wedding, that I should spend one night at the hotel in Whitesburg the night of my wedding - in one of their Honeymoon Suites (Jacuzzi, bitches!!!!) to relax before heading out the next day (with friends possibly in tow) to spend some time at the Gorge.
So what's everyone think of that? And the day? Which one do most of you like best? Saturday or Sunday?
Once again, advice, ideas, opinions on things, etc, always appreciated! :)
Friday, July 27, 2012
Wedding Update: A few ideas...
So, I didn't really know where to put this. I've been talking to some of my friends on Facebook (the 'aren't gonna commit me to an asylum' ones) and they've been quite supportive so far, and it's SO awesome! (I feel so loved! *tears up*) So, I wanted to make a spot so I could ask them questions and advice and general help since...well...since I'm pretty much taking a shot in the dark on this! I've never planned a wedding before after all! But I didn't want to send them giant group messages all the time, a page would be too public, and a group...well...groups tend to not be very active most of the time for some reason (at least, in my experience with creating them.) So, I figured I'd post what I'm doing and what I've came up with here so they can read it at their leisure and if they've got something they can message me on my Facebook or leave a comment here. Also, for anyone else thinking of also doing a self-wedding, perhaps you can read through these updates of mine and learn from my mistakes (I'm sure I'll make some at some point!) or even garner an idea or two.
Anyway, onto the actual update...
First of all, for a wedding, a bride normally has a pretty dress (or some other awesome bit of clothing of her choosing). For the longest time, I've always thought of that dress as being a corset-style (boned) A-line dress with a lot of poof at the bottom. A really princess-y kind of dress! Well, the other day, I decided to go have funzies with one of my friends and try on a few dresses (okay, so I only tried on 3...err...2...one wouldn't fit...lol) And, to my SUPER surprise...I didn't really like the big, poofy, A-line one I tried on! (Sure, there may be another one that I DO like...but...this one...wasn't for me...it was pretty (okay, downright f-ing gorgeous!!!!) but...it was heavy...I didn't look that good in it (pretty dress, but not pretty on ME), and it weighed, like, a solid 50 lbs!) I could barely stand up in the thing comfortably!
So, I tried on another dress...the woman at the shop said it was probably the lightest dress they had in stock (completely different than the first one I tried). It was an empire-waist (one of the cuts -other than mermaid- that I thought I would absolutely hate!) chiffon dress. Very simple...very little bling, no poof at all, just simple, elegant, and flowy. And...I abso-tive-ly LOVED it! It looked so beautiful! And beautiful on me! So much so that for once in my life I didn't even pay attention to my awful upper arm fat! Now that's what a dress should do! Make you comfortable, make you feel pretty, and make it look like you...but better. (My friend said she didn't even notice my arms when I asked her about it (even though it was a strapless dress so they should've been in full view) because the rest of it looked so pretty.) It was sort of like the focus was on me, the important parts of me...like my flabby arms weren't even there...just a girl who was absolutely beaming in her elegant dress. Yes, I was in love with the dress! (I wanted to say 'Yes' to the dress! XD)
But, even though it was a wonderful price (just a little over $200 -and had I had the money, I would've bought it then and there) but...I didn't have the money. And I won't have it until September...mid-September at that. The wonderful lady said she'd hold it for a few days for me in case I could get the money up in time. But I know it's a lost cause...I have nowhere to get that money from. And there's a good bet that it will probably be gone by September (unless I'm hella lucky! Which I'm normally...not.) Good thing is, I found a very similar one on eBay, that can be custom fit (Go China! Home of cheap wedding dresses and cosplay costumes with custom sizing!) The only differences I can see in it is that one side of the bust looks like it doesn't have chiffon over it and the embellishment on the front looks like it might have some sort of red jewel in it which, the one in store, did not...just crystal and possibly a few pearls (also, on me, the dress is a bit longer than on the model in this pic...which I kind of liked). I like the one in the store better, but they're pretty close contenders. (I wish I had taken a picture of the one in the store! Stupid me didn't even THINK about it!) But, if it comes down to it, I might just buy the one online. It's still pretty close, and it looks just as pretty!
Here is the one on eBay (click to enlarge):
And, as far as a nice, poofy dress goes...I'm thinking of wearing a different (more Halloween-ish) one to the reception, which I'm very much thinking should allow people to come in costume as well since it's doubling as a Halloween party. But, since it's also such an important day for me - I figured I'd stay with something formal...yet still Halloween-y. I love dresses that are short up front and long in the back, but for partying, I'm thinking maybe do just a short, party dress of some sort (leave short-in-front-long-in-back or princess-y A-line dresses to cosplay sometime.) I found a few other custom-made dresses online that allow for choosing the dress colors, so I'm thinking something short and poofy and black with an orange ribbon around it or something. Or should I arrive in a different, but still very wedding style, dress instead of the Halloween one? Thoughts? Opinions?
Onwards...
On another topic now: Most people play the same, old, plain, music at a wedding - The Wedding March, which is fine, but it's definitely not me! And I've recently fell in love with a song (okay, fell in love with it a month or so ago when it was in one of the anime I was watching.) But it was recently released, including an off-vocal/no lyrics version that is stunningly beautiful! Not only that, but it has just enough of a creepy/haunt factor to make it very well suited for a Halloween-themed wedding! Plus the somber-ness of it seems well suited, to me anyway, for something as emotion-based as a self-wedding.
You can check it out here and see what you think of it:
So...opinions? How's everyone think of the wedding dress? The reception dress idea? The song?
Any advice on anything else? What all I need to do, start planning, etc.? Always much appreciated! :)
Anyway, onto the actual update...
First of all, for a wedding, a bride normally has a pretty dress (or some other awesome bit of clothing of her choosing). For the longest time, I've always thought of that dress as being a corset-style (boned) A-line dress with a lot of poof at the bottom. A really princess-y kind of dress! Well, the other day, I decided to go have funzies with one of my friends and try on a few dresses (okay, so I only tried on 3...err...2...one wouldn't fit...lol) And, to my SUPER surprise...I didn't really like the big, poofy, A-line one I tried on! (Sure, there may be another one that I DO like...but...this one...wasn't for me...it was pretty (okay, downright f-ing gorgeous!!!!) but...it was heavy...I didn't look that good in it (pretty dress, but not pretty on ME), and it weighed, like, a solid 50 lbs!) I could barely stand up in the thing comfortably!
So, I tried on another dress...the woman at the shop said it was probably the lightest dress they had in stock (completely different than the first one I tried). It was an empire-waist (one of the cuts -other than mermaid- that I thought I would absolutely hate!) chiffon dress. Very simple...very little bling, no poof at all, just simple, elegant, and flowy. And...I abso-tive-ly LOVED it! It looked so beautiful! And beautiful on me! So much so that for once in my life I didn't even pay attention to my awful upper arm fat! Now that's what a dress should do! Make you comfortable, make you feel pretty, and make it look like you...but better. (My friend said she didn't even notice my arms when I asked her about it (even though it was a strapless dress so they should've been in full view) because the rest of it looked so pretty.) It was sort of like the focus was on me, the important parts of me...like my flabby arms weren't even there...just a girl who was absolutely beaming in her elegant dress. Yes, I was in love with the dress! (I wanted to say 'Yes' to the dress! XD)
But, even though it was a wonderful price (just a little over $200 -and had I had the money, I would've bought it then and there) but...I didn't have the money. And I won't have it until September...mid-September at that. The wonderful lady said she'd hold it for a few days for me in case I could get the money up in time. But I know it's a lost cause...I have nowhere to get that money from. And there's a good bet that it will probably be gone by September (unless I'm hella lucky! Which I'm normally...not.) Good thing is, I found a very similar one on eBay, that can be custom fit (Go China! Home of cheap wedding dresses and cosplay costumes with custom sizing!) The only differences I can see in it is that one side of the bust looks like it doesn't have chiffon over it and the embellishment on the front looks like it might have some sort of red jewel in it which, the one in store, did not...just crystal and possibly a few pearls (also, on me, the dress is a bit longer than on the model in this pic...which I kind of liked). I like the one in the store better, but they're pretty close contenders. (I wish I had taken a picture of the one in the store! Stupid me didn't even THINK about it!) But, if it comes down to it, I might just buy the one online. It's still pretty close, and it looks just as pretty!
Here is the one on eBay (click to enlarge):
And, as far as a nice, poofy dress goes...I'm thinking of wearing a different (more Halloween-ish) one to the reception, which I'm very much thinking should allow people to come in costume as well since it's doubling as a Halloween party. But, since it's also such an important day for me - I figured I'd stay with something formal...yet still Halloween-y. I love dresses that are short up front and long in the back, but for partying, I'm thinking maybe do just a short, party dress of some sort (leave short-in-front-long-in-back or princess-y A-line dresses to cosplay sometime.) I found a few other custom-made dresses online that allow for choosing the dress colors, so I'm thinking something short and poofy and black with an orange ribbon around it or something. Or should I arrive in a different, but still very wedding style, dress instead of the Halloween one? Thoughts? Opinions?
Onwards...
On another topic now: Most people play the same, old, plain, music at a wedding - The Wedding March, which is fine, but it's definitely not me! And I've recently fell in love with a song (okay, fell in love with it a month or so ago when it was in one of the anime I was watching.) But it was recently released, including an off-vocal/no lyrics version that is stunningly beautiful! Not only that, but it has just enough of a creepy/haunt factor to make it very well suited for a Halloween-themed wedding! Plus the somber-ness of it seems well suited, to me anyway, for something as emotion-based as a self-wedding.
You can check it out here and see what you think of it:
So...opinions? How's everyone think of the wedding dress? The reception dress idea? The song?
Any advice on anything else? What all I need to do, start planning, etc.? Always much appreciated! :)
Friday, July 20, 2012
A Haunting Self-Wedding?
So this is something I've been mulling around in my head for...almost...a year now?
I've always wanted to have a wonderful wedding!
I love the idea of going out with my best friends, choosing a dress, decorating, coming up with some awesome vows, having a cake made just the way I want it (hopefully), catering a nice dinner, partying afterwards, etc. (And yes, I also know weddings can be difficult and stressful things to plan and execute but the fun memories is normally worth it.) But, due to certain things (I may explain all this in a post later - needless to say it has to do with both my asexuality and my aromanticism...and...well, logic) I will likely never be a bride and walk down the isle (unless it's in my head! Fictional characters FTW!)
So, about a year ago I came across the terms 'self-wedding' and 'self-marriage'. Basically a single person (or a single-at-the-moment) person has a ceremony (normally small, but can be as big as you want) in front of a few friends and vows certain things for themselves and their future (like, always remaining true to one's self, being honest, learning to accept themselves or better themselves, to realize that they are important and to never give up a piece of themselves for a petty reason (or a petty person), etc.) Basically, saying aloud positive affirmations (preferably in front of other people to make certain that if things get tough someone is there to remind them of the promises you made to yourself.) I really rather fancy the idea of it. Everyone needs some 'me' time and it's also helpful to look inside one's self to determine your good qualities and your bad; to do that deep, inner thinking thing and take the time to promise yourself that you'll do your best to keep your good stuff and work on getting rid of the bad. Plus, if you wanna do it fancy, you can invite your friends, have them dress up all pretty, dress yourself up all nice too (it might make you feel better!), and say it aloud (a show of your perseverance for positive change in your life), and party it up for funzies afterwards!
A lot of people think it's absolutely insane and I've heard several snide remarks about the people who do it (or would like to) and how narcissistic they are, etc. (Is it really that narcissistic? How about people who have those giganto-millionaire birthday parties? At least this is trying to include positive change! (And your friends get to party! I'm sure they would have fun partying with you, even if it is for something "odd.") But hey, I'm quite eccentric and crazy and I'm already "weird" so...who cares? Haha!
But anyway, since I would absolutely LOVE to do something like this (and because I've always wanted to have a Halloween party and never could at my house (much too small) and a venue recently opened up where I could have one) I've been thinking that I may just go for it! However, my family would likely think I was nuts, so as much as I would like telling them about it, I probably won't. And even most of my friends would think I'm off my rocker (they don't already? lol.) It's a little hard for me to get all happy-happy and announce it to everyone! But I do know that some of my closest friends might just go for it without thinking I need to be committed to an asylum just yet. So, since I'll be getting some extra cash this fall, I'm thinking I might just go ahead and do it. Have a small ceremony with my closest, 'wouldn't commit me' friends and then having an all out Halloween bash (candy, scary movies, costume contest, ghost stories, games, etc.) afterwards with all my other friends as part of my 'reception'. Mwahaha! And then, since I've been dying to go anyway, I can go and relax in a beautiful cabin in the top of the mountains (Red River Gorge has been looking pretty inviting to me.) I can bring a few friends with me, or enjoy the calm of going solo (haven't decided on that yet.) And that can be my 'honeymoon.' I mean, what part of this doesn't sound fun!?
(Plus it gives me an excuse to cosplay as one of my OC characters (a Princess) and wear a big, poofy, expensive dress all at the same time with no one being the wiser! Ha!)
So, anyone else have any thoughts on the matter? (And I don't wanna be the thought police, but I've heard enough from the naysayers...go think it...somewhere else!) Also, any ideas for my vows? (I'm kind of thinking do the serious ones with just my besties and then have a mock-wedding at the party so I can say some awesomely funny, anime-centric ones too!) So, anyone got any of those? How about how to decorate for a great Halloween party and what to include? I've never done one before, and I want it to be AWESOME!!!! Something people will remember (and possibly want to do again!) Also, I like doing things on the date (Hello! Halloween-versary!) but Halloween is on a Wednesday this year...which may make it difficult for some of my friends to show up (some of them have to work, some may have to take their kids out TOT-ing that night, plus I'll have class the next day! Also, the venue might have something planned that day already!) Also is it weird for a honeymoon to be a few days later? The date is giving me uber troubles! Plus, do I have the cake represent me and my interests like I always wanted? Or should it be just Halloween-oriented (I mean, that is an interest of mine...but...how about my other interests? Combine them? Would that be ugly?)
So MANY, MANY questions! And there's not much time left! I need help!
I've always wanted to have a wonderful wedding!
I love the idea of going out with my best friends, choosing a dress, decorating, coming up with some awesome vows, having a cake made just the way I want it (hopefully), catering a nice dinner, partying afterwards, etc. (And yes, I also know weddings can be difficult and stressful things to plan and execute but the fun memories is normally worth it.) But, due to certain things (I may explain all this in a post later - needless to say it has to do with both my asexuality and my aromanticism...and...well, logic) I will likely never be a bride and walk down the isle (unless it's in my head! Fictional characters FTW!)
So, about a year ago I came across the terms 'self-wedding' and 'self-marriage'. Basically a single person (or a single-at-the-moment) person has a ceremony (normally small, but can be as big as you want) in front of a few friends and vows certain things for themselves and their future (like, always remaining true to one's self, being honest, learning to accept themselves or better themselves, to realize that they are important and to never give up a piece of themselves for a petty reason (or a petty person), etc.) Basically, saying aloud positive affirmations (preferably in front of other people to make certain that if things get tough someone is there to remind them of the promises you made to yourself.) I really rather fancy the idea of it. Everyone needs some 'me' time and it's also helpful to look inside one's self to determine your good qualities and your bad; to do that deep, inner thinking thing and take the time to promise yourself that you'll do your best to keep your good stuff and work on getting rid of the bad. Plus, if you wanna do it fancy, you can invite your friends, have them dress up all pretty, dress yourself up all nice too (it might make you feel better!), and say it aloud (a show of your perseverance for positive change in your life), and party it up for funzies afterwards!
A lot of people think it's absolutely insane and I've heard several snide remarks about the people who do it (or would like to) and how narcissistic they are, etc. (Is it really that narcissistic? How about people who have those giganto-millionaire birthday parties? At least this is trying to include positive change! (And your friends get to party! I'm sure they would have fun partying with you, even if it is for something "odd.") But hey, I'm quite eccentric and crazy and I'm already "weird" so...who cares? Haha!
But anyway, since I would absolutely LOVE to do something like this (and because I've always wanted to have a Halloween party and never could at my house (much too small) and a venue recently opened up where I could have one) I've been thinking that I may just go for it! However, my family would likely think I was nuts, so as much as I would like telling them about it, I probably won't. And even most of my friends would think I'm off my rocker (they don't already? lol.) It's a little hard for me to get all happy-happy and announce it to everyone! But I do know that some of my closest friends might just go for it without thinking I need to be committed to an asylum just yet. So, since I'll be getting some extra cash this fall, I'm thinking I might just go ahead and do it. Have a small ceremony with my closest, 'wouldn't commit me' friends and then having an all out Halloween bash (candy, scary movies, costume contest, ghost stories, games, etc.) afterwards with all my other friends as part of my 'reception'. Mwahaha! And then, since I've been dying to go anyway, I can go and relax in a beautiful cabin in the top of the mountains (Red River Gorge has been looking pretty inviting to me.) I can bring a few friends with me, or enjoy the calm of going solo (haven't decided on that yet.) And that can be my 'honeymoon.' I mean, what part of this doesn't sound fun!?
(Plus it gives me an excuse to cosplay as one of my OC characters (a Princess) and wear a big, poofy, expensive dress all at the same time with no one being the wiser! Ha!)
So, anyone else have any thoughts on the matter? (And I don't wanna be the thought police, but I've heard enough from the naysayers...go think it...somewhere else!) Also, any ideas for my vows? (I'm kind of thinking do the serious ones with just my besties and then have a mock-wedding at the party so I can say some awesomely funny, anime-centric ones too!) So, anyone got any of those? How about how to decorate for a great Halloween party and what to include? I've never done one before, and I want it to be AWESOME!!!! Something people will remember (and possibly want to do again!) Also, I like doing things on the date (Hello! Halloween-versary!) but Halloween is on a Wednesday this year...which may make it difficult for some of my friends to show up (some of them have to work, some may have to take their kids out TOT-ing that night, plus I'll have class the next day! Also, the venue might have something planned that day already!) Also is it weird for a honeymoon to be a few days later? The date is giving me uber troubles! Plus, do I have the cake represent me and my interests like I always wanted? Or should it be just Halloween-oriented (I mean, that is an interest of mine...but...how about my other interests? Combine them? Would that be ugly?)
So MANY, MANY questions! And there's not much time left! I need help!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Hello all! A little about me :3
 |
| Kitty be creepin' |
Hello!
This is the first time I've ever done a blog and I'll admit, it's a bit confusing to me still (lol).
But I figure a good start, is an introduction:
The things that describe me - being eccentric (duh XD), being a HUGE anime fan, being Wiccan, and being an aromantic asexual (Wikipedia (and AVEN) is your friend!) (Other things include, love of drawing, photography, the paranormal, funky hair colors, goth/punk fashion (including goth-loli), loving Halloween to a creepy amount, and various other little things, most of which relate to these somehow.)
Other things about me - Currently I'm attending a local college (curious as to where I live stalkers? I'm in KY...'nuff said lol) for a Graphic Design degree. I'm 21 (going on 22), recently bought my first car and finally attained a drivers license (woo!). I'm a fujoshi (so be prepared for random, unexpected fangirl-ing). I am obsessed with cat ears (they're soooo cute!!! And yes, I have those brainwave necomimi ears!) I currently have black, aqua, and fuchsia hair. I love comedies! Uhm...uhh...well...things like that! You'll get to know me more as time passes! XD
So, be prepared for postings relating to any of the above...and more! Expect some to be sane and some to be...well...rather strange. (I am quite eccentric after all!)
Well, it's nice to meet you all, whoever you are that happen upon this site!
Ta-ta for now, nyan~! =^.^=
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)